The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 29th January, 2018 – Always Do Your Best

Happy Monday!  I hope you have had a good week and managed not to make too many assumptions.

This week we turn our attention to Don Miguel Ruiz’s fourth and final ‘agreement,’ ‘Always Do Your Best’.  I love this one! Yes, I realize I say this about each one but, in my opinion, each ‘agreement’ contains a lot of wisdom that can be applied to our lives to great effect.

When I was at school and worried about an exam my mum would always say “just do your best.” While her words were well intentioned, I often felt under pressure; what if my best was simply not good enough?!  What then? Many of us, can relate to this, I’m sure.

As a teenager I didn’t have the insight to know that your best can change depending on your inner resources at the time and also your external circumstances. For example, studying for an exam in the morning after a good night’s sleep will usually result in a ‘better’ result than cramming last minute and late at night, for obvious reasons. Ruiz’s ‘Fourth Agreement,’ also illustrates that your best is better when you practise self-love and self-care rather than being self-critical.

When we are affected by ‘mental noise’ it is, in fact, impossible to do our best as we are battling the inner critic whose voice can drown out all of our ‘best’ attempts to do well.

When you practise true self-love your best is always good enough and it is not dependent on the result but on the effort that you made with the energy that you had at that point in time.

According to Ruiz, “when you do your best you learn to accept yourself” and this allows you to soften the internal critic. If you can put your hand on your heart and say to yourself “I did my best,” the invisible self-judge has no choice but to back down.

‘Always doing your best’ summarizes the ‘Four Agreements,’ as it allows us to discover that we are not perfect and that although our best may not yield ‘perfect’ results it is good enough! Looking back on the previous three Agreements’, Ruiz helps ease any pressure to always achieve them by stating:

“Don’t expect that you will always be able to be impeccable with your word.  Your routine habits are too strong and firmly rooted in your mind. But you can do your best. Don’t expect that you will never take anything personally; just do your best.  Don’t expect that you will never make another assumption, but you can certainly do your best.”

This makes so much sense and the beauty of it is that when you take the pressure off yourself your best will come much more easily.

Have a great week and as always please do your best to share  The Positive Habit blog with anyone you think could benefit. I am also always so happy to get your feedback.

Always Do Your Best

Sleep Better Tonight?

Anxiety is one of the most common causes of a poor night’s sleep.

Research in sleep science tells us that we need a least 8 hours of quality sleep for our mind and bodies to function properly.

The Positive Habit by Fiona Brennan is a five-star rated online, program that helps people all over the globe to sleep better each night and as they sleep it programs their subconscious minds to feel calm and confident.

Take the anxiety test to help you understand what might be causing you to lie awake at night.

Anxiety/Self-EsteemTest

To register for a 30-day, risk free, trial please click below.

If you are in financial difficulties then please consider the bursary scheme. Our goal to help as many people as we can to feel calm,confident and in control.

Always Do Your Best

2018 Workshops

Dublin – 17th February 2018
Cork – 3rd March 2018

Full Price Ticket is €130.00

Presented by Nutritional Therapist Elsa Jones & Clinical Hypnotherapist Fiona Brennan, ‘Love Yourself Well’ is a unique mind-body weight management program that deals with both the physical and psychological components of weight management, providing you with tools that will lead to lasting weight loss success.

At Love Yourself Well, we invite you to attend a one-day masterclass workshop where you will be given a set of uniquely effective tools help you manage your weight & health for life. You will then have the option to become a Love Yourself Well member where you will have access to a private online support group and have monthly live webinar sessions with Fiona & Elsa (inc. Q&A) to help you stay on track & reach your health goals.

Always Do Your Best

The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 22nd January, 2018 – Don’t Make Assumptions

Happy Monday!

Last Tuesday evening was freezing cold and so I felt very lucky that the cozy, yoga studio I go to is only a few doors away. As I was in the middle of my first ‘downward dog’, I glanced out at the illuminated garden and saw the most beautiful snowflakes falling. It was quite windy so each snowflake danced and moved independently, following its own unique path. To me, it seemed like each had a mind of its own and moved with a determination that its way was the best and most beautiful,

This week we look at the ‘Third Agreement’ by Don Miguel Ruiz:  ‘Don’t Make Assumptions.’

“Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.”

Don Miguel Ruiz

Making assumptions, according to Ruiz, is the single most destructive force to clear, human communication.  Just as it seemed with the snowflakes, we assume that our path and opinion is the right one and we will go to great lengths to justify ourselves and our actions in this regard.  Consider, for a moment, any conflicts you have had in your life, either on a personal or professional level. Often such unfortunate disputes stem from a misunderstanding  rather than from bad intentions or malice.

We all see the world so uniquely that we forget our perceptions are different to everyone else, even those we believe know us best.

You know that feeling of hurt that arises when a person you are close to says something that upsets you and you assumed they would know not to say it? Feelings of hurt, disappointment and even betrayal can spring up because of the assumption you have made.

When we make assumptions about anything in life we are taking a risk.

We cannot know for sure know what another person is thinking and so in order to avoid making assumptions we must ask, verify and communicate clearly and unambiguously.

For many people, the root of deep unhappiness and low self-esteem is the fear of what other people will think of them.  The ‘Third Agreement’ frees us from that inner torture. As with the snowflakes, most people are not thinking about us at all and are more concerned with their own issues.

I am training myself to be as clear as possible in my communication with clients and family and friends. If I don’t understand something, rather than making assumptions and jumping to a conclusion that could be a million miles away from what was intended, I stop and ask, “have I understood you correctly?” Stephen R. Covey in his celebrated book ‘The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,’ advises, “Seek first to understand and then to be understood,” and I am sure we can all learn from this.

This week, please don’t make assumptions and instead always try to seek clarity. When you add the ‘Third Agreement’ to  first two (‘Be Impeccable with your word’ and ‘Don’t take things personally’) you are building a wonderful foundation for the relationships in your life to flourish. Most importantly, the relationship you have with yourself will be open, honest and full.

Next week we look at the ‘Fourth Agreement,’ ‘Always Do Your Best.’  No pressure there then!

Have a great week and as always please do share  The Positive Habit blog with anyone you think could benefit. I’m always so happy to get your feedback – good, bad or indifferent, I don’t take it personally!!!

don't make assumptions

Sleep Better Tonight?

Anxiety is one of the most common causes of a poor night’s sleep.

Research in sleep science tells us that we need a least 8 hours of quality sleep for our mind and bodies to function properly.

The Positive Habit by Fiona Brennan is a five-star rated online, program that helps people all over the globe to sleep better each night and as they sleep it programs their subconscious minds to feel calm and confident.

Take the anxiety test to help you understand what might be causing you to lie awake at night.

Anxiety/Self-EsteemTest

To register for a 30-day, risk free, trial please click below.

If you are in financial difficulties then please consider the bursary scheme. Our goal to help as many people as we can to feel calm,confident and in control.

don't make assumptions

2018 Workshops

Dublin – 17th February 2018
Cork – 3rd March 2018

Full Price Ticket is €130.00

Presented by Nutritional Therapist Elsa Jones & Clinical Hypnotherapist Fiona Brennan, ‘Love Yourself Well’ is a unique mind-body weight management program that deals with both the physical and psychological components of weight management, providing you with tools that will lead to lasting weight loss success.

At Love Yourself Well, we invite you to attend a one-day masterclass workshop where you will be given a set of uniquely effective tools help you manage your weight & health for life. You will then have the option to become a Love Yourself Well member where you will have access to a private online support group and have monthly live webinar sessions with Fiona & Elsa (inc. Q&A) to help you stay on track & reach your health goals.

don't make assumptions

The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 8th January, 2018 – The Four Agreements

I hope that you are well and welcome, as always, to any new readers – it’s a pleasure to have you with me.One of the books I got for Christmas was Marie Kondo’s ‘The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying,’ which after reading led me to become a little fixated with tidying and decluttering my wardrobe; I have always loved tidying but this book takes things to a new level!  In particular, folding clothes is turned into an art form and if you follow Condo’s advice then never again will your wardrobe be a chaotic mess. Instead your closet will look more like a display in a posh department store where each item is clearly visible and accessible!  After offloading about ten sacks to the charity shop, I am beginning to feel the therapeutic magic that Condo writes about.

A calm and decluttered space supports a calm and decluttered mind.

This brings me to another book that my ever loving husband bought me called ‘The Four Agreements,’ by Don Miguel Ruiz. Some of you may have heard of it or indeed Marie Kondo’s book as they are both international bestsellers. In hindsight, I wonder were these gifts a subtle message from my husband who is known for his tidiness and honesty?!

Like Deepak Chopra, Don Miguel Ruiz, a Mexican surgeon and author, turned his back on Western, conventional medicine to look at the healing powers of more holistic and ancient practices. In ‘The Four Agreements’ he focuses on the Toltec spiritual ethos which originates in Mexico.

Over the next four weeks of the blog I will deconstruct each agreement and suggest that you put the insights into practice for that week. The first agreement as you will see from the image above is:

“Agreement # 1 – Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”

I really respect and admire this maxim which is actually the foundation of the remaining three agreements. The word is our most powerful tool in creating heaven or hell on earth, so that when we apply this agreement we are choosing to carefully consider what we say before we say it.  We choose to speak honestly and openly and always operate from a place of love.

One of the things I often notice with clients, friends and family is how quick they are to use negative language about themselves. Frequently this is a flippant comment and not intended in a serious way. However, the power of language is such that it leaves an imprint on our subconscious, so saying “stupid me” or “I’m so fat” is really not helpful to our image of ourselves or our self-esteem. Indeed, many of these beliefs are in fact subconscious agreements that we may have been carting around since  childhood. The bottom line is that they weigh us down, diminish us and keep us stuck.

When we use the word badly about ourselves the chances are that we will also do this about others. Again, the intention may not be serious or harmful but it leads to the rampant, toxic poison that is gossip.  While being on the receiving end of gossip may be unpleasant to say the least, the person who ultimately suffers most from it is the person who does the gossiping.

This week, listen to the conversations around you and notice how people talk about themselves and others.  The challenge for you is not to slip unintentionally into using the word negatively about yourself or others.  Awareness is the key to practising this and all of the agreements. Think carefully about the words you use and the impact they have on you and the people around you. The word ‘impeccable’ comes from the  Latin ‘pecatus’ which means ‘sin.’ When we are ‘impeccable’ with our word we therefore speak without sin about ourselves or about others.

In ‘The Four Agreements,’ Ruiz refers to the word as having the power of either white or black magic depending on how you use it. The word remains the most important tool of communication we have and our ability to be able to speak to each other is a gift that can be used for our greater good or for our downfall. Ruiz says:

“Use white magic, beginning with yourself, tell yourself how wonderful you are, how great you are. Tell yourself how much you love yourself.”

Next week we will consider the second agreement, ‘Don’t Take Anything Personally’. Imagine how this might help create a world of peace and harmony!

Have a great week and as always please do share The Positive Habit with anyone you think could benefit.

I will be creating a series of free videos throughout 2018, “Anxiety Free, Stress-Free, Choose The Positive Habit” and I will be sure to send them to you as they will be packed with sound advice, insights and practical tips to keep you mentally and emotionally fit.

the four agreements

‘Mind Yourself Now!’ – tune in to Today FM today, Monday 8th January at 10.30.am where I will be discussing taking the pressure off New Year’s goals and how to avoid feeling low around Blue Monday. You can also podcast the show if you miss it live.

To register for the full Positive Habit program please click below.

If you are in financial difficulties then please consider the bursary scheme.  Our goal to help as many people as we can to feel calm,confident and in control.

the four agreements

2018 Workshops

Dublin – 17th February 2018
Cork – 3rd March 2018

Early Bird until January 6th 2018 is only €115.00
Full Price Ticket is €130.00

Presented by Nutritional Therapist Elsa Jones & Clinical Hypnotherapist Fiona Brennan, ‘Love Yourself Well’ is a unique mind-body weight management program that deals with both the physical and psychological components of weight management, providing you with tools that will lead to lasting weight loss success.

At Love Yourself Well, we invite you to attend a one-day masterclass workshop where you will be given a set of uniquely effective tools help you manage your weight & health for life. You will then have the option to become a Love Yourself Well member where you will have access to a private online support group and have monthly live webinar sessions with Fiona & Elsa (inc. Q&A) to help you stay on track & reach your health goals.

the four agreements

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